Hello, deviants. Yes, I am alive, though with a sporadic heartbeat. Haha. This is a longer than usual journal, so please bare with me.

It's not a very good title, I know. I'm not even sure why I'm writing in this, since I never do. The written and typed words describing someone's life and mind usually fall on deaf ears. Even so, I've been wondering something, and I'd like to share it with the world at large.

I want to portray really big, vague concepts. Specifically, love and/or fate. But how would I go about doing that? I've done some searches around the site, and it seems everybody has their own interpretations of both. I suppose it also depends on how you would define love or fate. After all, we all have our own examples of them. In my case, I have an example of both at once. I want to portray this somehow, but I don't know how. I thought asking everyone here may help me get an idea or two.

To do that, I guess I could quickly summarize what's going on. There is someone that means alot to me. I met him unexpectedly at a time when I was going through difficulties with another person, and worse times were to come. However, through all those bad things, good things, and everything in between, this someone, he was there for me the whole time. I won't say much more than that, but I love him very much for that. As well as for him being who he is. He lives far away from me, but I am convinced our meeting was not an accident. I want to show this somehow. Not with words, though, but with a piece of art. I've done little drawings before, but they don't feel enough to encompass this, if that makes sense. In addition, I always feel I've never been challenging myself, despite my best intentions and efforts to do so. Perhaps I'm simply too hesitant to try, in fear of failure. Either failure to achieve my artistic goal, or to properly display how I feel, or what my message is.

To draw, paint, sing, dance, play music, write, sculpt, or simply create in order to tell people something is difficult in itself. To create in order to display the way you see the world, or a concept (such as love or fate), is even harder. I'm not sure if I'm getting too ambitious here, but I feel this is something I really want to do. I've considered a collaboration, but I'm not sure. Is this something I want to do on my own? Or should this be a portrayal of emotions on both sides? After all, love and fate are both things that cannot occur to just one person. They work because they involve two or more people. Hmmm... I don't know. I may be rambling here, but I want to make myself heard, somehow.

With every single artwork I submit here, I ask for feedback and comments. Same with this journal. Please, tell me your thoughts. How do you perceive love and/or fate? Is it even possible to create an artwork that portrays it? And how could I do it in a way that, well, really shows how I myself perceive it? In a way, it's like a love letter, but with lines and colours, as opposed to words and paragraphs. But it's not a love letter to an unknowing recipient, so I guess it's not quite the same thing. In any case, I greatly appreciate your thoughts and comments. I'm so happy there's a community of artists here, and that I can ask you things like this. So, thanks. ^_^

- Siraea, signing off.